"Marriage is a Jewish Issue" by Rabbi Laura Geller

The entirety of the article below is reproduced from the Jewish Journal:

"November 19, 2008

Marriage is a Jewish issue

Parshat Chayei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18)

By Rabbi Laura Geller

This week's Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, is the biblical equivalent of JDate. After Sarah's death, Abraham gets busy trying to find the right wife for his son, Isaac. He sends his servant, Eliezer, to Abraham's hometown to make the match. Eliezer prays that the right girl will show up at the well and that she will make herself known to him through her generosity, gentleness and beauty. And sure enough, everything unfolds the way it was supposed to, and Eliezer brings Rebecca home to Isaac.

As they approach on their camels, Rebecca sees Isaac off in the distance. The translation says: "And she alighted from her camel." But the Hebrew word can also mean: "She fell off her camel." I've always loved Rebecca for that -- just at the moment when you want to make the best impression, you trip. I can identify with that. Still, Isaac loved Rebecca from the moment he saw her.

A lot has changed since the biblical period about how we find a marriage partner. And our ideas about who might be an appropriate partner have changed, as well. But as we saw from the recent passage of Proposition 8, not everyone agrees.

Why is Proposition 8 a Jewish issue? After all, doesn't the Bible say, "One who lies with a male as one lies with a female is an abomination" (Leviticus 18:22)? If we read the Torah as fundamentalists do, this and other verses would indeed present a problem. (Should we really execute people for working on Shabbat?)

That's not how most Jews read the Torah. We read it through the lens of commentary and with the understanding that certain laws, which might have made sense in biblical society, are no longer relevant now.

As Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson wrote in "Gay and Lesbian Jews: A Teshuvah," "We have reviewed a range of rabbinic reasons given for opposing same-sex acts. We have concluded that homosexuality is not intrinsically unnatural ... destructive of family life, devoid of the possibility of children, or hedonistic. We are dealing, therefore, not with a previously considered and previously outlawed phenomena, but with a situation never before encountered in Jewish law. Modern homosexual love and stable homosexual couples are different in significant respects from anything known in Torah or rabbinic Judaism."

In other words, what the Torah proscribes has nothing to do with contemporary gay or lesbian relationships and therefore is irrelevant to the current discussion. What does matter are core values that emerge out of Jewish tradition, including the fundamental notion that all human beings are created in the image of God and mishpat ehat yihe'eh lachem, that law should be applied equally to all.

Proposition 8 is a Jewish issue because we know what it is to be victimized because we are different. We need to stand up and defend the civil and human rights of other minorities. And it is a Jewish issue because it is also about us.

Gays and lesbians are part of our family. They are our brothers and sisters, our sons and daughters, our cousins and nieces and nephews. Gay and lesbian families are in our synagogues, their children are in our day schools, our religious schools and our early childhood centers. They are part of our community. "They" are "us."

Reform Judaism has taken the lead in the Jewish community in supporting the civil and human rights of gays and lesbians. The Reform movement welcomed the first synagogue for gay and lesbian Jews into what is now the Union for Reform Judaism in 1974. The Reform movement began to ordain openly gay and lesbian rabbis in 1990, and, in 1996, the Reform movement went on record to "support the right of gay and lesbian couples to share fully and equally in the rights of civil marriage."

Thirteen years ago, I stood under a chuppah with my friends Rabbi Lisa Edwards and Tracy Moore. It was a powerful ceremony -- without a marriage license. They were and still are such fitting partners for each other, still in love after all these years. Last month I stood with them again under their chuppah, this time with speaker of the state Assembly, Karen Bass. This time with a marriage license.

When Bass signed the license and declared them married according to the laws of the state of California, the congregation burst into applause. It was a historic moment.

Now the status of that marriage is unclear. This is a Jewish issue. The right to marry is a Jewish issue because we believe that all human beings, male and female, gay and straight, are created in the image of God. The right to marry is a matter of civil rights; each of us has the right to choose a fitting partner for ourself and enjoy the same protection that the law provides to any married couple and their children.

Few of us meet our marriage partners at the well anymore. Our world has changed. But some things never change. God is present when two people commit their lives to each other and become one family. We need to continue the struggle for marriage equality, because it is a Jewish issue.

Rabbi Laura Geller is senior rabbi of Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills, a Reform congregation."

Now the work begins...

As we recover from staying up for the results of yesterday's historic election of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States of America, I can't help but note that the election itself revealed key areas where work must be done. As the Huffington Post's Bruce Tenenbaum notes in his article "Civil Rights Victory for African-Americans Leaves Millions of Others Out in the Cold",

"Yesterday I wrote that the election of Obama is a victory over the politics of hate. I was wrong. As the dust cleared this morning, it was apparent that Californians had voted to deny basic rights to millions of citizens who just happen to have been born gay."

Indeed, as California voted for Obama, a slim majority of Californians also voted in favour of Proposition 8, the anti-gay marriage initiative that will deny rights to millions of Californians (removing the right to marry recognized recently by the courts). Similar bans on same-sex marriage were approved in Florida and Arizona, while Arkansas voters endorsed a measure to block same-sex couples from adopting children.

At this time advocates in support of equal marriage in California (the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and National Center for Lesbian Rights) have filed a petition with the California Supreme Court urging judges to overturn Proposition 8.

The time has come for the rights of gay and lesbian Americans to live in recognized, supportive partnerships to be both recognized and celebrated. Countries such as Canada that recognize gay marriage have not suffered any of the harms bandied about by opponents to equal marriage. To the contrary, recognition of social marriage has only strengthened the social fabric.

President-elect Barack Obama will have a large list of items to address when he gets the keys to the White House. The economy is in dire straits, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continue, the environment needs rescue, and health care and education require urgent attention.

Barack Obama was elected on a message of hope and a recognition (and even celebration) of the diversity of American society. With the long list of issues that he must immediately deal with upon entering the Oval Office, I only hope that he sends the message that his message of hope applies to America's gays and lesbians as well.

Anticipation

In but a few hours the results will start to come in for the historic U.S. election. The whole world is indeed watching in anticipation. Here in Jerusalem a main nightclub is staying open all night (it is Tuesday, remember!) for an election party. A group of Brits living down the street are having their own fiesta. A large number of my classmates are hosting get togethers or attending more formal events. This all sounds very normal, but we must take into account that it will be 2:30am Israeli time when the results start coming in, and when the polls close in California it will be 5:00am. CNN just announced that in the U.S., Starbucks is giving out free coffee today, Krispy Kreme is giving out donuts, and Ben and Jerry's is giving out free scoops.
I respect CNN's Christiane Amanpour, their Chief International Correspondent. She describes this election as being "The election that will change the world". Big words for someone who has reported on South Africa's election of Nelson Mandela in 1994, overcoming apartheid.
I will not be up the whole night, but I think that I will not be able to help myself from checking in and M. in Ottawa has promised me that she will be sure to rouse me when key results start being reported. Let's all stay tuned.

HaMakom

It is amazing how quickly time can pass... So much has happened! The holidays of Sukkot and Simchat Torah, visit home to M and Ottawa in time for the Canadian election, which unfortunately did not go as intended (let us just hope that the current minority government will govern in the best interests of the whole populace), a wonderful presentation by Marci S. on "The Emergence of Women in the Scrum: Women Journalists Covering Politics and Public Affairs in Ottawa, 1930-1950" for the Friends of the Ottawa City Archives, food with family, return to Jerusalem, the arrival of fall wind and rain in all of its glory (this past week's Torah portion was Noah, and it is so interesting how what goes on in the elements adds to one's understanding of the narrative), and, of course, the arrival of school work in all of its glory.

Simchat Torah, which comes right after the end of Sukkot, marks the end of the annual Torah reading cycle (finishing Deuteronomy with the death of Moses and his final blessing to the Israelites preceding his death) , and of beginning anew with Bereishit/ Genesis' telling of the creation of the world. Genesis moves quickly- in the past couple of weeks Torah readings have moved from creation of day and night, to Adam and Eve, to Noah and the flood, the Tower of Babel, and the lineage of Abraham's ancestors. This week we are already at Torah portion Lech Lecha, where God tells Abram to leave his native land and his father’s house for a land that God would show him, promising to make of him a great nation, bless him, make his name great, bless those who blessed him, and so on.

In about a month from now we will be reading the coming of age story of Abraham's grandson Jacob (in parasha Vayetzei), when, after leaving his home to set out for his uncle Laban's place he falls asleep and dreams of a ladder with angels ascending and descending. In the dream God stands beside Jacob and promises to give him and his numerous descendants the land on which he lies, says that through his descendants all the earth would be blessed, and promises to stay with him wherever he goes and bring him back to the land. Jacob awakes afraid, remarking that surely the place is the house of God, the gate of heaven, and calls the place Bethel (house of God).

The Hebrew word for place - "makom"- in post-Biblical times also came to be a reference to God, and the interplay between being in a space and recognizing God's presence there is a key theme for Jacob. Biblical scholars and rabbis of old hypothesized that the place where Jacob dreamed was none other than the same place where the binding of Isaac took place, and the same place where the Temple mount, the holy of holies, would be located (i.e. not too far from me here in Jerusalem). In this interpretation the place where Jacob dreamt is a foundation stone of sorts for the world- the spot holding up the world and connecting the human domain to God's domain. I do not believe that any one place on Earth is fundamentally holier than than any other- God exists everywhere. But I do wonder whether certain places, where we have brought intention and focus for example through prayer or meditation or just being present, have the effect of in turn opening our eyes to things that we might not otherwise appreciate. Along these lines there are many people who claim that there is something particular about Jerusalem, that there is a mystical quality to the city that causes people who haven't seen each other in ages to run into each other, that Jerusalem is a city where the number of co-incidences that occur are higher than the rest-of-the-world norm.

I have not tested this hypothesis, but I do want to share a story of something that happened last week. Last Wednesday a friend and I were heading from school to the wonderful neighbourhood of Nachlaot to sit in on a course on the Siddur (prayerbook) at Simchat Shlomo Yeshiva. It was dark and cold and rainy outside (we remarked how interesting it was that the rain came at the same time as we were reading about Noah and the flood), and although we knew the route well we managed to somehow end up somewhere about 15 minutes off course (we say that we got caught in a vortex). Once we realized our error we turned back and proceeded to head in the right direction, cursing our folly at having made such a wet and cold mistake. A few minutes later, though, we heard a call for help. A woman was standing at the top of a stairwell leading down to an apartment entrance with her small child and some bags of groceries. She explained to us that she needed assistance to get to her apartment, as a taxi driver had dropped her off at the wrong entrance, away from her walker. The woman looked to have multiple sclerosis, or some other such neuro-muscular condition, and was unable to walk down the stairs in the wet with her child. My friend P. carried the child while I helped the woman on the steps. Within a couple of minutes the woman, her child, and her belongings were safe inside their apartment. As P. and I left to continue to the yeshiva, we both could not get over how clear the reason was for our earlier misjourney in the vortex! Both of us qualified the experience as a "Jerusalem moment"- enabled by the mystical something special about this place, this makom, that reinforces all that there is to appreciate and learn from where we are.

Tefilla Zakkah- Forgiveness

The streets of Jerusalem are emptied of cars (a beautiful and surreal experience, with people walking and talking and sitting in the streets), as Israel begins the observance of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, 10 days after Rosh Hashanah, the New Year. On Rosh Hashanah it is written, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed- so the line goes with regard to our future. When you think about it, though, Rosh Hashanah is really the day of judgement, whereas Yom Kippur is a day of "rachamim", of mercy or compassion. Indeed, the message of Yom Kippur is that whatever ill we have done we can correct, we can return, we can seek forgiveness and change our actions. Yom Kippur is thus fundamentally hopeful, and by going through the process of forgiving and seeking forgiveness ("selichah") we purify ourselves for the year to come. We start the year with a clean slate. Before we kick off Yom Kippur with Kol Nidre (the renunciation of the vows towards ourselves (not to others) that we could not keep), we engage in a long confessional prayer, the Tefilla Zakkah, that also ensures that we forgive those who might have slighted us in the past. I want to reproduce the key bit here:

"I know that there is no one so righteous that they have not wronged another, financially or physically, through deed or speech. This pains my heart within me, because wrongs between humans and their fellow are not atoned by Yom Kippur, until the wronged one is appeased. Because of this, my heart breaks within me, and my bones tremble; for even the day of death does not atone for such sins. Therefore I prostrate and beg before You, to have mercy on me, and grant me grace, compassion, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all people. For behold, I forgive with a final and resolved forgiveness anyone who has wronged me, whether in person or property, even if they slandered me, or spread falsehoods against me. So I release anyone who has injured me either in person or in property, or has committed any manner of sin that one may commit against another [except for legally enforceable business obligations, and except for someone who has deliberately harmed my with the thought ‘I can harm him because he will forgive me']. Except for these two, I fully and finally forgive everyone; may no one be punished because of me. And just as I forgive everyone, so may You grant me grace in the eyes of others, that they too forgive me absolutely."

May everyone find blessing and forgiveness this Yom Kippur and enjoy a meaningful fast.

Shana tova u'metukah, and gmar chatimah tova (have a good and sweet new year, and may you be written in the Book of Life),

D ;-)

Rain and Renewal

My past few posts have all touched on the weather, and how the weather serves as a marker of time. I find that particularly intense here in Jerusalem. This past Shabbat the winds that had been blowing for the previous few days brought rain along with them- the first rain that Jerusalem has seen in months, and the first rain that I have seen since my arrival at the end of June. It was amazing seeing and feeling the rain. Speaking to fellow students, it seems that many of us felt inclined to run outside and play in it, and offer up some sort of prayer recognizing its import. The High Holy day season, beginning tonight with Rosh Hashanah and going through Yom Kippur and Sukkot, are actually very much founded on Israel's need for rain. Looking at Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Sukkot as a unit, one can interpret the period of forgiveness inscription in the "book of life" as being a period of preparation for a shift in the seasons so vital for survival here in Israel. We tend to under-value Sukkot, putting much of our emphasis on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but in many places here Sukkot is still referred to as "He-Chag", "The Holiday". Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are preparation for the harvest, and Sukkot is the time for bringing in the harvest, and praying for a strong rain season so that the coming year's harvest will ensure that all are inscribed in the Book of Life. High Holy Day prayer, as understood in this context, is very grounded in the influence of us on our place and our place on us.

With the start of the High Holy Day/rain season/winter comes the theme of renewal- renewal of the harvest cycle, renewal of ourselves, of our relationships, renewal of our goals for the coming year. This past Friday night I attended (with friends Sara and the Stillman family) my first Jewish Renewal Kabbalat Shabbat service with congregation Nava Tehila, led by Rabbi Ruth Gan Kagan. Jewish Renewal is a type of Judaism that incorporates Hasidic, meditative and musical practices into an egalitarian service/approach. The service was quite beautiful, taking excerpts from various Psalms and putting them to music using guitars, drums, a viola, a digeridoo, and, of course, all of our voices. This singing set a meditative though uplifting tone for the evening, and led up to an energetic Lecha Dodi welcoming the Shabbat bride. Unfortunately, at one point in the service a random fellow from outside (perhaps someone from the neighbourhood), stormed in and denounced the service as being loud/inappropriate/etc, etc. (it didn't make all that much sense, though he was very angry- this would never have happened in a "traditional" synagogue, as he would not have had the chutzpah to storm in). The community and the rabbi dealt with the man in a remarkable way- they let him say his piece, and then a couple of congregants gently escorted him outside and let him calm down. His interference and anger was not met by anger. Rather, Rabbi Ruth addressed the incident by asking the congregation to pray for the best for the man, as it is very difficult and sad to see someone so consumed by anger, especially around the Shabbat and the time of the High Holidays (when we are all supposed to be seeking forgiveness). The service wrapped with a traditional recitation of the ma'ariv, or evening prayers. Following the service I returned to the Stillman's, where we talked and reviewed and drank Jameson's and enjoyed dessert, all parts of weekly renewal.

Shana tova u metukah (have a happy and sweet new year!!),

Dara ;-)

the galilee, the golan, seudat shlishit, slichot and shivers

So much happening!! What follows is a brief summary of the past week, with more in-depth writing on some topics hopefully forthcoming...

We spent a good part of last week up north in the Galilee and Golan Heights region, on a learning trip about the "New Jew". En route I had the opportunity to swim, both at the lovely Gan Sachne, Israel's largest natural swimming pool, as well as in the wonderful Kinneret, or Sea of Galilee, Israel's largest freshwater lake and the lowest freshwater lake on Earth (209M below sea level). We traveled to Zichron Ya'akov, Kiriat Shmona, Metulla, Tel Hai, Tel Dan and more, and learned all about the first waves of immigration to Palestine/Israel in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. We looked into Syria, Lebanon and Jordan, and contemplated the issues regarding what to do with the Golan Heights. We visited the Kinneret Cemetery, where key figures in the Zionist movement and Israeli culture are buried (such as Naomi Shemer, Rachel, Moshe Hess, Nachman Syrkin, Ber Borochov). I hope to reflect and write more on this trip, which I will add in another posting.

Following our return Thursday night from our tiyul (trip), I enjoyed a lovely Kabbalat Shabbat service at Kol Haneshama, one of Jerusalem's Reform congregations, followed by a wonderful dinner hosted by congregants at Kol Haneshama. On Saturday I spent seudah shlishit, the Shabbat meal before the end of Shabbat (Havdallah) at the home and yeshiva (Shlomo Yeshiva) of Rabbi Sholom Brodt and his wife Judy (from previous posts, Rabbi Brodt had been a teacher at Solomon Schecter Academy in Montreal when I was there more than 20 years ago). About 30 people were in attendance and it was a wonderful spiritual and warm experience that I look forward to repeating. Following dinner and Havdallah I made my way to school (with a stop for ice cream- it is amazing how Jerusalem suddenly comes back to life when Shabbat ends, you see stores opening up and people emptying out of homes onto the streets to play) for a special pre-Slichot service rundown. Slichot are special prayers recited before Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year. They are traditionally recited early in the morning, though numerous synagogues offer late-night versions. After gathering our class together at school, at 10:30pm Saturday night we headed over to Jerusalem's Great Synagogue to hear the renowned hazzan (cantor) and choir lead the services (which lasted until about 12:30am). The atmospheres at Shlomo Yeshiva and the Great Synagogue could not have been more different, but both were beautiful in their own way.

Otherwise another week of classes, though we will have very little course time between now and the Sukkot break, what with Rosh Hashana next week and Yom Kippur the week after. I cannot believe how quickly time is passing. Tonight, though, as I went out for dinner with friend and fellow student "J-Fro", I felt fall's chill and wrapped myself in a sweater. There is comfort in this harbinger of seasonal change, in that it validates my internal sense of time moving on....

Alas, I hope to be able to add more soon!

Best,
d ;-)